1994: Alor Setar, Malaysia

Los Angeles to Kuala Lumpur was a long long flight.

Stopped at Taipei for refueling, I had a coca-cola in the airport lounge. "Coca Cola" was written in Chinese on that coke can, and that made me realise that I was now in Asia.

It was May 1994 when I landed Kuala Lumpur for the first time. But I had only one hour in Kuala Lumpur, as I had to take another domestic flight to get to my boyfriend's hometown, Alor Setar. I was travelling with only two suitcases which were all my belongings except for some books I shipped separately.

Alor Setar is the capital city of the Kedah State, but it was still very local, "kampong", place in Malaysia. It was a tiny little airport and the outside the airport was mainly paddy fields.

My boyfriend, his parents, and brother and sister came to pick me up with a small bouquet of flower. They were kind and greeted me with full of affection.

We went to his house where his parents and second brother's family lived together. My boyfriend had two elder brothers and one elder sister. They were all married except for the eldest brother, who had a steady girlfriend and lived in Penang Island.

His second brother had a young daughter. She was three years old and called NgaNga as nickname. She was such a cute girl and was curious about me, a complete stranger to her.

So I stayed with the family until both my boyfriend and I found the job in Kuala Lumpur. Although it was deadly hot everyday, his father believed the air-cond was not good for health therefore there was no air-cond in the house.

I hardly slept at night because the ceiling fan was not enough for 35-37 degrees weather. Even at night, it was above 30 degrees.

Mosquitoes found me a delicious new flavored blood, and one time I had more than 20 bites on my legs.

There was no hot water for shower either. There was a hot water tank, but it was not turned on because everyone thought it was not necessary. They thought it was hot enough to take a cold shower. Though I did not agree, I had no choice but to follow the rest.

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

With much straggle, I tried to comply with the new life style in Alor Setar. After all, I was a short term guest.

My boyfriend's mother was old Chinese lady who spoke no English. Though his father and brother spoke good English as they do shoe retail business in the centre of Alor Setar, all the ladies including NgaNga did not speak English. So most of the conversation at home was carried out in Cantonese which I did not speak at all.

However his mother was a kind, hard-working lady. She washed cloths without using the washing machine, though there was one in the house. Using electricity seems to be such a waste. She was a great cook as well.

Meals she cooked were all excellent, but I could not eat so much, mostly because of the heat. But she worried that I do not eat much because I do not like her food, so that she insisted me to eat more.

I tried. I think I was eating as much as I normally do, but that did not please her enough.

Then my boyfriend turned to me and told me to eat more. I told him that is not possible, but he said I MUST eat to please his mother.

I resented.

We had fights over such stupid topics over and over. In the family, my boyfriend was the youngest boy and most beloved. He was always a good boy and studied hard to please his parents. He wanted to show off his family what a wonderful girlfriend he brought from US. His attitude towards my eating his mother's meal became a serious stress and I went to see a doctor once. I developed a stomach trouble.

I looked at the return ticket to Los Angeles many times. I wanted to go back to Fresno as David told me: He said if I can't stand the life in Malaysia, just come back to Fresno no matter what. The ticket was still valid. The prices of single and return ticket were almost the same, so I bought one year open ticket just in case.

But I did not go back as a tourist and become illegal alien. I only had $1,400 with me. I could not rely on friends just because I did not like Malaysia much.

Three months later, my boyfriend and I moved to Kuala Lumpur to stay with his cousin to find the permanent jobs. He decided working in Alor Setar or Penang was not a good idea.

I thought of working in a Hotel or Air Line industries because there would be Japanese guests, and they would like to have a Japanese person to attend them. Doing the business with the Japanese, the language is always a barrier, so that I had an advantage.

From Alor Setar, I applied to Shangri-la Hotel Kuala Lumpur as I found the newspaper ad to look for a Japanese Guest Relation Officer. I wrote a CV and sent to the hotel HR dept. There was an instant reply and they wanted to interview me in Kuala Lumpur.

In the painful three months, I became close to NgaNga, so it was very sad to leave her. She called me "Yappun CheChe", means "Japanese sister". I loved her very much but I had to move on. I could not live in the small town of Alor Setar anymore.

When we departed, my boyfriend's father gave me a small wallet with RM100. He was always kind and supportive to me. I appreciated, and left the house for good.